The walking wounded.

I have injured my leg whilst playing a game of, "try to cross the road without getting run over". I didn't get hit by a car, but managed to tear my calf muscle as I foolishly tried to run across (at my age!). I decided to phone a well known TV advertised accident legal claims type company. However, the lady at the end of the phone informed me that it was my own fault and, furthermore, said she knew where I lived, and was coming round to urinate through my letterbox! Which is why I have moved to Iceland (brrrr).