Tuesday, June 06, 2006

And They Call This Justice?

What a day! I was arrested by anti terrorist coppers and charged with inserting semtex up one of the Queen's corgi's arseholes! It's also alleged that I ran off, shouting, "victory to Allah!" In actual fact, it was a sausage role I inserted in to the afore mentioned royal canine, and that was just to warm it up. And what I shouted was, "victory to Alan" - Alan Winky, the UK all in custard eating champion, who I'm sponsoring at the forthcoming European Championships. I was carted off to the high security police station at Paddington Bear, and made to sing a selection of West End show songs for the entertainment of the rozzers. Fortunately, I managed to escape, only to find that that fool Winky, had tested positive for rice pudding, and been banned from the championships!
Who'd be me?